hurting
by KokoLockhart
Summary: she knew what she was getting herself into when she wanted to involve herself in his life. she knew shadow; hardworking, strong and determined, always taking things a step forward. but without her. — shadow/tikal [AU-ish]


_Characters belong to SEGA._

* * *

The dark faded. The birds chirped. The sun had risen.

With her eyes still shut, she waited. She waited for the soft squeaks and clicks of the door opening and closing. The muted shuffle of footsteps on the wooden floor, the comforting whispers and sighs that would mean she was no longer alone in the house.

The morning was still, the crisp air eddying through the open window, the possibility of a _new_ day. These were the things that anchored her and made her acutely aware of her solitude. Cocooned in layers of cotton, she laid there perfectly still, so silent. She knew it was pointless, but she gave a few mere moments to the dream anyway.

The dream was always the same though — waking up in strong arms to a kiss on the forehead. There were murmurs of affection, the sensation of bliss, all blinded by light. But it was only a dream, a dream that could only exist for the briefest time and the inevitable happens — "I have to go."

His devotion, it was an admirable quality of his, and Tikal had always respected him dearly for that. He had come a long way from being titled "A black alien" to instead take up the mantle of a G.U.N agent, as he told her before. But he had always been a good person at heart, perhaps it was difficult to tell, though it was true. Shadow the Hedgehog had always been — at least in her eyes — loyal to a fault.

At first, she didn't want to believe her own thoughts. She felt them to be so rude and selfish, just wrong. So she put them aside, only to have them crawling back again as weeks, months passed. Because his loyalty to his job, the people, it would always, always _trump her._

 _"I'm sorry about this."_ He'd tell her, about a couple, no, a hundred times.

There was always one answer. _"It's okay."_

For a while, he'd be deeply devoted to the greater good and the G.U.N and his comrades. The only thing she was so deeply devoted to was him. But Tikal would always smile sweetly and kiss him goodbye like it didn't kill a piece of her soul. She'd shed no tears in front of him because she loved him. She loved him more than life itself and she didn't want to break him the way he was inadvertently breaking her. Tikal did not want to let herself be the one to taint him.

The last thing Tikal wanted to do was to make him feel guilty, she didn't want to make him _choose_. He had enough dark circles, the side effect being responsible for so many lives and investigations, already having to make the hardest decisions. It was only at night, curled up in their empty bed with blue eyes shut tightly, that she could admit to herself that she was only afraid. Afraid that he wouldn't choose her.

It had only been three years ago since they got together. Tikal finally realised what the damage was.

 _Herself._

She didn't own him like he seemed to own her. Shadow belonged to justice, truth and a million facets of _good._

Tikal, she... she just _belonged_ to him.

So she would always play along and treasure the time he does give her, the stolen moments of happiness that she flies away, so she could cling to the memories when he leaves again.

...

Walking up to the altar to check on the Master Emerald, Tikal stopped as she saw Knuckles laying down with his back leaned towards it.

"Knuckles?"

Knuckles popped one eye open to see the other echidna before opening the other one. He smiled and stretched his arms. "Yo."

"What are you doing here?" Tikal asked as she made her way up to the top, "I thought you were going to do some treasure hunting."

"I was gonna," Knuckles scratched his head, "But I didn't wanna leave you alone, ya know?"

"Are you doubting your own ancestor, Knuckles?" she asked with a small laugh, sitting down next to him.

"What?!" the red echidna frantically shook his head, "No, that's not it! I just—"

"It's fine," Tikal cut him off, a giggle escaping her lips, "Thank you, though..."

"No, really," Knuckles still insisted, "I didn't wanna leave you alone."

"That shouldn't stop you from treasure hunting though," she said.

Knuckles shook his head. "Still, stuff lurks around here and I wouldn't wanna have you dragged into it."

Tikal smiled. Knuckles's loyalty to their clan was impeccably wonderful and considering how she was only one of his kind left, she understood his worry and protection.

Loyalty. The word still left a dreaded taste in her mouth as she thought of Shadow. This morning, she wasn't surprised when she didn't see the hedgehog next to her on the bed when she woke up. He didn't leave a note, that's because he didn't need to. Where else would he have gone?

Waking up to an empty bed and having breakfast alone was a routine after all.

Had she gotten used to it though?

Not in the slightest.

"Tikal?"

She snapped out of her thoughts and turned her head to look at Knuckles, who rose an eyebrow at her quietness. "Is there something wrong? You seem... down."

Tikal pulled back in panic. "N-No! No, nothing's wrong, Knuckles," she let out a nervous laugh, "I'm fine!"

Knuckles didn't say anything and just stared at her. To anyone, this would've been just a normal stare. But to Tikal, it wasn't. It was a stare that only she knew the meaning of, that only echidna's knew the meaning of. And who was she to deny her own relative that something was wrong? She wasn't the one to lie to Knuckles after all.

She sighed softly, the thoughts of resisting dissolving as her eye sight averted to the green emerald. "Knuckles, is loyalty always a good thing?"

Knuckles blinked. "Huh?"

"Loyalty," Tikal leaned her hand into the gem, "Do you think that sometimes, it can get a bit _excessive?"_

The red echidna frowned, processing the question before coming up with an answer. "I guess so, since I'm a prime example for that," he tilted his head back to take a look at the emerald, "The Master Emerald is important, and if something happened to it, I could never forgive myself."

She shook her head and quietly chuckled. Of course he would give an answer in regards of the green gem. "I know, and I thank you for that Knuckles, but..." she paused before biting her lip, "This is different..."

"Hm?" he gazed at her.

She paused, regaining some confidence. "Why do you think Shadow worked for the G.U.N, Knuckles?" she questioned him, a pit of sadness starting to form inside of her.

The other didn't reply straight away, however. That was fine. Tikal would've thought that it was a difficult question to somehow pinpoint with an answer.

It took a while, but Knuckles finally did say something, "I'm supposing 'cause he wanted to be seen as someone who fought for the people here?" He then smirked, "He wasn't exactly the most likeable person before, ya know," he sighed, "We sort of just changed him and the Commander took interest of him, along with that bat and Omega," Knuckles smiled at Tikal, "You've changed him more though. I would've never thought he'd turn into a big softie for a girl..."

Tikal blushed at the comment, waving it off, before asking something else. "So, he loves his job?"

He nodded. "It's quite obvious."

Tikal then looked at the other, blue orbs quivering. "Even if it's too much?'

Knuckles saw this and immediately sat up. "What do you mean?"

"It's too much, Knuckles," she whispered ever so quietly, "It's too much..."

"You're not making any sense here," Knuckles pointed out frantically, "What's hurting you?"

"Shadow," Tikal replied and Knuckles's eyes widened, "I can't cope with it... I can't..."

It was then that he understood her question. GUN. Loyalty. Excessive. _Too much._

"Tikal..."

Unwanted tears fell down onto the girl's cheeks and she quickly wiped them away. Unfortunately though, the latter saw.

"I'm sorry," Knuckles apologised, "I shouldn't have forced you to say that..."

Tikal shook her head, "No it's okay, Knuckles," she said, "I've wanted to tell you for some time now..."

He nodded in understanding but then furrowed his brows. "Are you... going to tell him?"

"I can't, that would be wrong, wouldn't it?" Tikal inquired, "I shouldn't let him stop what he does important because of me."

"You're not a burden, Tikal," Knuckles crossed his arms, "You should let him know, rather than letting you do this to yourself," he shrugged, "You both love each other after all. Shadow would understand."

"I suppose so," she sighed, turning around to greet the horizon. "I hope at least..."

"And hey," Knuckles stood and went into a fighting stance, "If he does anything to hurt you again, he's gonna meet these fists!"

" _Knuckles!_ " she stuttered, absolutely appalled by the idea.

"Huh? I mean it!"

...

The G.U.N base was huge, so it was easy to get lost in. But knowing Shadow, Tikal probably thought that the hedgehog liked to teleport himself into his office instead rather than speed down the hallways.

Agents walked passed her. Some were silent. Some were happily talking to their co-workers. It bemused her quite a bit, really.

Luckily, she had bumped into Rouge whilst wondering around the place in anxiety and confusion as she tried to locate his supposed whereabouts.

"Hey Tikal," the bat greeted the girl with a smile, her black vest displaying beautifully onto her chest, with proud medals pinned gracefully onto the pockets.

Embarrassed, Tikal apologised immediately. " _R-Rouge!_ I'm sorry..."

Rouge waved it off. "Ah don't worry about it, sweetie," she eyed the echidna for a moment before composing herself, "Is there any reason why you're here?"

Tikal paused, her thoughts coming to a halt. She stared at her friend but then lowered her gaze down onto the filled container in her hands. Rouge's eyes merely followed and she quickly understood.

"He's actually busy with paperwork right now," Rouge said, looking back at the echidna.

Tikal was about to show her saddened expression, but swallowed it down. "Oh," she let out.

"But," Rouge then added before she could say anything else, "I don't think he's taken a break at all today," she scoffed, "That hedgehog..."

Tikal could only sigh inwardly, shaking her head in distress. She then bit her lip, "Could you... perhaps show me to his room?"

"Of course!" the bat replied with a happy tone, before gesturing to follow her, in which Tikal did, "He hasn't laid his eyes off of the computer, mind you," Rouge huffed, "Even when I went in to give him some coffee, he didn't even notice me!"

The echidna only just laughed faintly as they walked down the corridors. "That... sounds like Shadow."

Rouge only just rolled her eyes. "Sadly, yes," she crossed her arms, "I'm actually happy that you're here. Someone needs to tear his eyes away from work once in a while."

"Mm, that would be nice..." Tikal said. _That's what I would like to do._ "Do they pressure him a lot?"

"They do," Rouge said, her voice toned down, "Only because he gets the job done quicker than anyone else, that involves scanning paper work."

"I see."

Then Rouge's radio beeped from her wrist causing the two of them to stop walking momentarily. "Rouge here."

 _"Agent Rouge, an investigation has occurred at Westopolis. I'll send you the details and coordinates. Please head over as soon as possible, over and out."_

Rouge let out a groan before turning to Tikal. "Ugh. You see? Total _slave_ drivers."

Tikal meekly nodded, pitying her friend.

"His room isn't far off," she pointed, "Just walk down and turn right."

And with that, Rouge flew off, bidding a farewell.

The echidna let out a breath of relief, wiping the sweat off her forehead. Honestly, she didn't think she would've been able to talk to the woman without letting loose her emotions. But now that was over, she followed Rouge's directions and made her way to Shadow's office. Her footsteps however, slowed down as she noticed the room door open. Stopping, she clutched the container in hopes to calm herself down. Taking in a deep breath, she peaked her head into the room to see that, indeed, Shadow was on the computer clicking and typing away. Tikal took notice of the desks that had stacks upon stacks of paperwork and just looking at it made her grimace.

She gave a few soft knocks on the door.

"Who is it?" he asked, his back still facing her.

Tikal gulped, panic growing within her. "Shadow?"

She saw him freeze and stop what he was doing all together. He turned his head to the side before spinning his chair around completely.

"Tikal," he echoed back and she nodded, politely shutting the door behind her. Shadow stared forward, ruby eyes trailing down her orange frame, "...What are you doing here?"

She silently, albeit gingerly, walked towards him and held out the container filled with sandwiches. "I thought you'd might like some lunch."

Shadow casted his sight down the container and blankly examined its contents over the see through plastic. He took it with ease and laid it onto his lap. He then looked back up at Tikal. "How did you get—"

"Rouge," she cut him off, "I... bumped into her on the way."

"On the way?" Shadow inquired, his eye squinting, "So you just _came_ into the base _without_ a guard?"

Whenever Shadow squinted his eyes, it meant that he was annoyed. And Tikal just hit that line. She answered by pursing her lips together and averting her eyes elsewhere.

He sighed, making her look over again. Rubbing his temple, he leaned over to the side and pulled up a chair for her. She obediently sat down, hands resting on her lap as she saw him closing the tabs on his computer.

"I appreciate you doing this for me," he turned to face her, "But you shouldn't really be around here. GUN are always on high alert, what if there was an emergency and you got hurt?"

"I... I never really thought about that," Tikal answered bashfully, her thumbs twiddling, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," he grunted and took a sip of his coffee. "Just don't do it again."

She steadily nodded, placing her hand over the other as she watched him open the container. Oh dear, she made a mistake but at least he... _cared._

"Have you eaten?" Shadow asked, taking a bite of the sandwich.

Tikal didn't answer right away though. Instead, she was too caught up in her thoughts.

 _"I shouldn't stop what he does important_ _because of me."_

She remembered the conversation she had with Knuckles the other day, still fresh in her mind. Seeing Shadow work away, concentrating so intently made her shoulders slump. Busy. _He was so busy._ Working here and there.

It hurt.

But, she couldn't let Shadow choose. His job or her, no way. She had a debate with herself about that already.

Then why was her heart aching so much? As if doing that would be the _right_ thing?

"Tikal?"

Tikal jolted back and quickly faced Shadow, her stomach churning.

"H-Huh?"

Shadow stared at the girl with question. "I said, have you eaten anything?"

She blinked before understanding what he was implying. "A-Ah, I have, yes!" She lifted her hands up to insist.

"You're not sick are you," Shadow was persistent, and he leaned in closer to inspect her face. He pressed his hand up to her forehead and she wilted faintly at the contact.

"No," she whispered, suddenly feeling warm.

They were in that position for a minute or two before Shadow pulled back, clearing his throat. "All right."

Tikal smiled as he continued to eat, reading off some documents as he did so.

 _Tell him,_ her mind thought. But needless to say, she kept painfully quiet throughout. She wasn't ready.

Building up the courage to do so, she asked instead whilst biting her lip, "Are you coming home for dinner tonight?"

Shadow swallowed down the last bit of his sandwich and put the container to the side. Much to her displeasure, he shook his head.

"I have a meeting with the Commander," he stated, "It's about a recent investigation."

The echidna felt her heart shattering into a million pieces. That was the fifth time this week that he had a meeting late in the night, and she was afraid to count how many times he had them this entire month.

 _Another_ night alone.

 _No. Don't break, Tikal. Don't break right now._

"That's okay," she was shocked that she even managed to speak, "I understand."

No, she _didn't_.

Shadow just nodded and got up from his chair, lending his hand out for the echidna to grasp. "Let me take you home."

...

"Shopping?" Tikal inquired, cocking her head to the side as she filled a cup of coffee.

Amy clasped her hands together and nodded excitedly. "Yes! I'm throwing my birthday party on Friday and you'd be the perfect shopping partner, Tikal!"

Oh, right. The echidna almost completely forgot about the hedgehog's birthday. She needed to wrap up her gift still...

"Mmm," she handed the cup over to the customer who was waiting with a gentle smile. The customer thanked her, doing the same and walked off, "I suppose I could join you."

"Eeeeek, thank you Tikal!" Amy had such a bubbly attitude in the mornings. Tikal had to quieten her friend down in a few cases as customers were starting to complain. "When does your shift end?"

"In a few minutes, actually," Tikal began to take her apron off, "I'll go get changed now."

Tikal came back out with two insulated cups of latte, one which she gave to Amy as they made their way out to the shopping district.

The pink hedgehog had dragged her to so many clothing stores that she lost count. She hardly caught her breath when Amy suggested that they should take a break and she breathlessly agreed, knowing full-on well that she agreed to do this.

"I like the colour of this one," she heard Amy say in one particular store they stopped by.

Tikal turned to face her and she trailed her gaze down the pink mermaid-style dress. She couldn't help but smile at how beautiful it would look on her friend. "I think it'll suit you well."

Amy smiled back, eyes shimmering. "Really?"

She laughed and nodded. "I'm positive."

They looked around the store longer than intended to. Amy gushing about the cute dresses aligned in their hangers. Tikal took the time to inspect her own, if there was anything particular she liked. Walking down some more, she paused in her tracks when something blue caught her eye. Cautiously, she pulled it out from the metal holder and gazed at it. It was a dark blue one-shoulder dress, that seemed to hold her liking a lot. Noticing there was a mirror next to her, she turned around and laid the clothing on her, smiling softly.

"He'll love it," Amy suddenly stood next to her, grinning through the mirror.

Tikal looked at her, bewildered, almost hopeful. "Shadow's going as well?"

"Rouge told me GUN are on a strike on the day," the girl explained making Tikal's ears twitch, "It's perfect!"

Tikal stared back into the mirror as her sight down casted at the dress again. Perhaps maybe it was quite short, but Amy had been constantly commenting on how the echidna needed to feel more confident with her dress choices.

"Oooooh, Shadow's probably gonna be drooling when he sees you in that," Amy squealed making her blush furiously, "I'll pay for it, come on!"

"W-Wait, Amy!" But the pink hedgehog was already dragging her to the counter.

...

In the end, it was just what she had expected.

She sat on the table alone, the music only just faintly booming into her ears as she took in nothing of it. The half empty glass of red wine didn't pleasure her in the least and the waitress seemed to notice, suggesting if she wanted to try anything else. Tikal just smiled, kindly declining saying it was all right. The waiter didn't buy her act, but wondered off, thankfully. The echidna girl sighed and turned around, seeing the occupants of the party. She never knew Amy had so many friends.

Speaking of the pink hedgehog, she was standing next Sonic, who seemed to enjoy her company, most likely because of how stunning she looked. She couldn't blame him though, Amy looked breathtaking. She giggled at the sight before turning her attention away to see the others. Knuckles was there, though he seemed grumpy. Tikal tilted to see Rouge continuously nagging him and she could just see a vain popping out of her relative's forehead as he walked away with irritancy. Rouge chased after him, shouting how rude it was to walk away from a lady.

Tikal shook her head, amused and looked across to find Shadow talking to Omega. Her heart clenched and she turned around, a somber expression plastering her face.

"I'm sorry."

She sat up, startled. She glanced across to see the same waitress gazing at her with understanding.

"It must be hard," the waitress then said, with a comforting smile. A smile that calmed Tikal's nerves down drastically. She looked across to where Shadow was and then back at the echidna, "Things will get better soon."

"R-Really?" Tikal found herself the urge to ask, her mouth jittery. She didn't even know this person, but already, she could feel a warm bond.

The waitress just squeezed her hand tightly, and the echidna took a shaky breath, squeezing back. "They will. I promise."

After that, the waitress walked back, leaving Tikal to her thoughts again.

It was the first time that someone acknowledged the reality of her life, the difficulty of loving a man who was a top agent. It had hurt more than she thought it would've — Tikal thought she had come to terms with it long ago, but the wound stung — fresh, raw, open. Like it had been inflicted all over again.

All at once, the world seemed to narrow down to her, to primal instinct and pain. She inhaled deeply, and it felt like it hurt her nostrils, oxygen gone acrid, with the tangible sensation of hating herself.

 _Weak,_ she thought, _I'm weak._

The colours around her blended and merged. A thousand faces, suits and dresses, all refracted through her tears until they were shapeless, until she was hollow, hurting and scared of her own selfishness.

Another waiter passed by, asking her if she was finished. Tikal blinked, was grateful to be jarred out of her distorted reality. She placed it on the tray with shaky fingers and thanked him. The world was right-side-up again, with her on the bottom. She fisted one hand in the lace of her dress. She couldn't — _would not_ — cry.

The hands of the clock moved slowly, gliding along until it was long past the witching hour and the room emptied. The staff started to clean up around the familiar faces of her friends.

But Tikal didn't notice — or at least didn't seem to bother enough to really register what was going on. She remembered Knuckles and Amy coming up together, asking her if she was okay. She remembered Knuckles's teeth gritting as he turned to where Shadow was, who was talking to one of his agents on the phone. He started to march up to him with such anger, but Tikal grabbed his arm, stopping him. Knuckles had frozen and turned to look at her. Tikal shook her head. His shoulders slumped.

Amy, she was an expert on these things, as she seemed to understand the whole situation in under a minute. She too, had turned furious when she stared over to find the likes of the black hedgehog. Tikal stopped her as well though, saying that it was okay, and insisted her to go have fun. It was her birthday after all.

After asking she wanted to be left alone, the two slowly and hesitantly walked away.

Sleep got to her after.

She fell asleep on the hard marble top, the long day having her exhausted. But then again, she was already exhausted before she even came here.

There was something draped over shoulders — _a suit coat?_ — and a hand on her back roused her gently. "Hmm," she hummed ever so quietly, half in question because she was sleeping and it had been so peaceful, so dreamless; it had been the first time in a long time that she had felt so content, why would someone be waking her up?

"Come on, let's go home," a voice whispered near her ear, and _that_ woke her because it was the voice her ears strained to hear all night.

One eye cracked open as she struggled to sit up, the heaviness of her sleep taking over her. "Shadow?" she whispered back, rubbing her eyes, "What time is it?"

"Time to go home," he said, a small smile in his voice. So she stopped rubbing her eyes and looked at him, checking to make sure he was real and he _was_ — Shadow, weary but handsome, _so heartbreakingly handsome_ , he was so handsome and she loved him and she told him so, hands in his quills and voice still rough from sleep.

He started to gather her into his arms, chuckling lowly. "I love you too."

Tikal buried her face into his shoulder, overwhelmed all of a sudden.

When Shadow picked her up, she protested "I can walk—" but he ignored and carried her, bridal style, to the door anyway. Her own very fairytale as everything shifted and she felt so happy and in love, so much in love.

...

Because of his speed, it didn't take long for the both of them to land home. When Shadow unlocked the door, she got off of him on her own will, not bothering to straighten her dress as she immediately walked off up the stairs to their room. Shadow seemed to be puzzled by the action and frowned as he followed her.

"Tikal?" he called out.

But she ignored him. Yes, _she ignored him_. Because theoretically speaking, a few seconds was the amount she spent the entire day with him and not even _one_ s _econd_ at the party. She opened the door to their room, taking off her shoes before making her way to the bed, shrugging off his suit coat in the process.

A hand grabbed her arm, pausing her in her tracks. She didn't need to look. She didn't want to. There was no _need to_.

"Tikal, what's the matter?" he asked so bluntly, but there was a hint of worry. A hint.

"Nothing," she answered inaudibly, feeling apprehensive before trying to pry her arm off of him.

"It's obviously _not nothing_ ," Shadow seethed and turned the girl around, glaring at her, "Just tell me what's wrong."

 _No..._

"I said it's nothing!" her voiced inched toward hysteria.

 _You've broke, Tikal._

And when he protested again, she snapped.

"It's nothing! It's just me! And I'm nothing, so it doesn't matter, does it?! I don't matter!" she yelled, shaking with intensity.

Shadow clenched his jaw, his grip tightening around her wrists. "What are you talking about? Of course you matt—"

She tried to throw a punch at him but he was too fast and held her on instinct, even while he struggled to process what was happening.

And everything had worn off, Tikal was tired and frustrated and terrified because she was letting him see _this_ , but it was too late and she was heartbroken and desperate and needy to a degree that she hadn't realised herself. The shock was plain on his face, but she couldn't stop.

"It would be easier if you just left me, Shadow! At least then it'd be a clean break and you'll be happy!" she shouted, tears starting to well up from her eyes, as she knew what she had done. She wanted to throw things, to scream until her voice went hoarse, to pummel with fists and words until she was the only one who wasn't hurting anymore.

But she didn't. Instead, she felt his grip loosen on her wrists as she sunk to the ground, face buried into her hands as she started to sob uncontrollably. Shadow didn't move and she didn't have to look up to know that the hedgehog was lost.

"Please stop, Shadow," her voice cracked, full of hurt, "Please stop giving me tiny pieces of yourself and expecting me to be happy with that," she whispered, confessional, "I can't keep doing this. I love you so much, but I can't keep waiting for scraps of love from you while you take care of everyone else, give the best of yourself to everyone except me," she sobbed again, "If you don't think I deserve your time and attention, then I'd rather have none at all than the leftovers..."

There it was, the irrational emotion that she tried so hard to keep a secret, laying bare in the space between them.

Silence filled the room, save for her weeping. Her eyes were puffy, red, dry from all the tears as she let out a shaky exhale.

Shadow didn't speak nor did he move. But when he finally did, his voice — his voice was _strained_ — "Tikal, I... — I'm sorry..."

Tikal sighed softly, standing slowly. "I know."

She fell back and dropped herself onto the bed, her face resting upon her hand as she stared right through the hedgehog's body, seeming to let herself be in daze.

The clock ticked, the sound almost deafening in the dead silence. Tikal didn't know how long they stayed like that, cold and frozen, but Shadow broke the tableaux, stripping off his tie before standing above her. "How long?"

It wasn't a question she expected, and she ultimately refused to make eye contact. "I don't know," she paused, then admitted, "A—A long time..."

He exhaled in a sound that seemed like regret and frustration, growling lowly, gripping onto his shirt before releasing it.

"Tikal."

When she didn't respond, he knelt down, fingers caressing her cheek. " _Tikal_ , please. Just look at me."

She did, and it _hurt_ because she saw that _he_ was hurting. Shadow the Hedgehog, hurting and _oh_ , this was just what she wanted to avoid in the first place. Fresh tears threatened again and Tikal swallowed hard. "Y—Yes?"

Shadow, he was so close, so close that she could see the flecks of guilt in his gorgeous ruby irises. She wanted so desperately to look away, wanting to forget about them, but she knew he wouldn't let her.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. This time, she didn't reply. Shadow's fingers traced along her cheekbone, her neck, her exposed shoulder. "I love you," he said and it was desperate, a plea, a penitence. He leaned forward, face in the crook of her neck. His lips graze her throat and she closed her eyes at the gentle contact, trembling slightly. "I'll do better. I promise. Just please, forgive me."

When his voice broke on the last phrase, Tikal choked on a sob. "How am I suppose to believe that, Shadow?" she whispered, in spite of herself.

He pulled away faintly, so he could look at her with calm determination and she had to hold in a gasp, because those reddened orbs were piercing at her with such intensity. "Because you come first. You always have. And I will do whatever it takes to make up for not showing you that all along."

Against her fingertips, she could feel his heart beat, and she kept her mind occupied by graciously grazing her fingers over his chest until he continued, "I never wanted you to be involved with anything related with what I do, because things can get ugly quickly. And I didn't want you to see what I do everyday. But if that's what you want, we can do this together." His voice went hard, his demeanour changing, "Make no mistake, _I will protect you_ , because _you_ come first," he clasped his hand together with hers, "I won't force you, it's your choice."

Tikal didn't know what she wanted, all she knew is that she wanted _Shadow_ , and that for him to offer her this was not easy. It was a compromise she never anticipated.

"Do you trust me?"

She didn't know the answer to that either, the offer still trying to process her brain properly — a tiny nod, the beginning of a new hope flowering her chest.

More tears came flooding down her cheeks as she dropped down to kiss him, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. He kissed her back, wrapping her in a loving embrace. Tikal hiccuped and cried through the kiss, Shadow comforting and soothing her every way possible whispering how sorry he was, how regretful he was. She closed her eyes as his hands glided onto her body, the touches warm and reassuring.

For the first time in a long time, Tikal felt _whole_.

...

Tikal opened her eyes, the sunlight making her squint as morning approached. She groaned lightly, turning herself away from the sun, deepening her head into the pillow.

Then the events from last night came rushing back.

The echidna shot up in panic. She blinked rapidly before turning to various directions to realise she was alone.

 _He left again,_ she thought solemnly, clutching onto the bed sheets.

But then the sound of tap water running echoed from downstairs. Tikal's eyes widened and she quickly ran out of the room, almost tripping over her steps as she hurriedly went down the stair case. As if blind, she missed the final step, causing her to gasp and brace for the impact.

However, to her complete and _utter_ surprise, strong and sturdy arms caught her before she did and kept her steady. Tikal shot open her eyes and snapped her head up to meet _him_.

She was surprised honestly, shocked even. That he was _here_ , in the _morning_. Goodness, he was actually _real_. And _there_ in front of her. She had touched his face a few times to make sure.

Shadow's stomach churned shamefully at the reaction but before he could say anything, she hugged him as if her life depended on it. He stood stiff for a moment, staring down at her, before slowly hugging back.

"I trust you," Tikal muttered into his chest.

Shadow's ears twitched, not quite catching as to what she said. "What was that?"

She suddenly pulled away, the sweetest _most brightest_ smile laying upon her lips as she caressed his cheek. "I trust you," she said more confidently.

A sense of relief had washed all over Shadow's face and Tikal giggled, capturing his lips.

 _Thank you._


End file.
